yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
So squirting runs in the family.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize