I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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