i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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