2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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