i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Randomize
