I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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