Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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