Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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