i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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