I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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