yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
