He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
