if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
