I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
