meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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