Don't you send me to vm
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
