Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize