My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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