spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
