Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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