This show inspires me to have sex in space
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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