theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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