Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
