We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
