Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
