there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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