test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
