Cold hands, warm shart.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
