after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
