We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i came on her dog
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
