Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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