Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Randomize
