the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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