Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
