If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
