is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize