Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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