he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
