Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
