So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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