38 yer olds are good kisserssss
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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