Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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