am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize