I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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