her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
