I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize