do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize