your thong is hanging out like whoa
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
