Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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