He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
