the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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