All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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