I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
