I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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