Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
