just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
